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MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

im a dreamer ;

REDBULL BABY ;


i've overdose myself with redbull.

does it make one fly ?

cause i wished i could fly .

yes, its me .


zana .

16 sooooooon.

i speak broken chinese.

i love , love , love hershey cookies and creme !

and im a lover , not a hater .





superduperzana@hotmail.co.uk





you would never know i am crazily obsessed with

TAUFIK BATISAH ;

i can literally go crazy and melt over him .

baby , you're mine .









" every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end . "



talk




escape


past


credits

Thursday, October 30, 2008 / 11:14 PM

monday;

it was already th start of th holidays. mum & dad had a mini open house for dad's secondary sch friends.whoa..i wonder how dad i able to keep in touch with them. I was up very early because i had to help mum do th housework and cook. i was a great help,okie. (:



that guy up there is Mr Zul.
he's married to a chinese woman.
she's preety beautiful.
and both of them are loaded,really loaded!
they had 3 children and each of them owns a hp and psp.
whoa..thats cool lar.
and guess waht;
thir children are between the age of 7-12 only.
amazing uh?
his son was really cute.
i adore those people who has a mix blood,
esp chinese plus malay.
that makes them effing cute.
[:




those people are looking through their yearbook photos.
& all of th sudden, they will start laughing becos of th funny fotos.
i've seen them and i find them preety funny too because dad
drew some funny stuffs around some photos like inserting some
funny captions are drawing afro hair at someone's photo.
lol.
dad and he's teenage years.


tuesday;

went to aruna's open house with benjie and healme and mimi.
photos were taken but none of them since nice.
while walking towards aruna's house,
benjie was walking super super fast.
its either his psp or the earpiece stuck to his ears that he's busy with.
act cool only.
._.
he think he has long legs can walk very fast and leave me behind uh?
he was very emo-shit.
he said very few words.
he's character in school and outside is a major difference.


wednesday;
went to abg firdaus's house to pass him a wedding invitation.
yes, my wedding invitation!
im getting married with taufik batisah.
huhhu <: nah..idk who's wedding it was. i was told to give him only. after that, went to th library with my sister and saw someone familiar. in fact, i saw many familiar faces. went to eat lunch at kfc. walked bck home and my sister made me remind of something that i shall not say. it was also CARLISLE CHUA JIE's birthday!

that guy up there has a very,very cheecky smile.
sorry i've got no presents for you.
let our friendship be th present can?
its indeed priceless,okie.

i did not attend th sec3 camp.
it was today.
im really lazy to go.
and its my 1st time not gg for a camp thats compulsort, i think.
hahha.
who cares aniway.

thursday;

went to watch HSM 3 with my sister.
yes,its a sister day-out.
th movie was quite okie.
but i love the part where they dance at th roof top.
in fact, i would love to have a nice roof top life that.
^_^

friday;
here i am blogging away.
today will be a stay-at-home day.
healme asked me out,but im lazy.
he said he's gona treat me but still im not interested.


ohh;
im going to chalet this sunday until monday.
its just a 1 night stay.
& i'll be skipping shooting practice on monday.
whooooooooo-hu~
i'll be busy starting nex week due to shooting trainings.
oh gosh.
what about work?
still in the process.


i read ur email.
honestly;
im really lost for words.
why are u sending me an email out of th blue?
something caught you're mind ehy?












Saturday, October 25, 2008 / 6:38 PM

i'll be going back to school for shooting trainings.
-.-
wth.its gona be like campcraft.
& im thinking of getting a job.
anyone?

/ 12:03 AM

long overdue fotos during the local trip with sec 1s at Hort Park;




















Thursday, October 23, 2008 / 8:50 PM

yesterday was the 23rd.
if we were still to be holding on to each other, it will already be our 9th month.
yes, indeed we were no longer together and we'll hold no promises.
the fact is, i still missed him very badly.
even though i never admit it to anyone,
even though i was on the edge from heartache to heartbreak,
I still had our memories stucked in my mind.
memories bit by bit were playing in my mind like the soundtrack.
and that hurtful memory came back to life.
i dont know why.
i tried hard to ignored it,avoid it and doing everything that will not make me remind of him.
it was a physical pain.
my heart was split into two and it is still is.
i've been trying hard to let it go but it just wont seem to go away.
im picking up the pieces of my broken heart,still.
he's teddy bear is still lying lifelessly on my bed.
im still reading he's past love letters.
he's still in my dreams.
& im still imagining what it would be like if we were still to be together.
wtfffffffffffff.
im not suppose to be even doing anything like that.
but i just,just ,just cant figure why i have been feeling this way.
im not writing this so that you can read it..
its because this is my blog where i write things that i have in my mind.
im sorry that i've broken all my promises.
im gonna try my best to pull apart from this illusion.
to break free from this confusion.




/ 3:34 AM

the things i have in my mind:


Saturday, October 18, 2008 / 6:12 PM


yesterday was the local trip to Hort Park with the sec 1s. The scenery was nice and we've had alot of fun cause we've planned some games for them. We walked a total of 5km or so. More photos will be uploaded. and see those tired faces at those photos.

and went it was time to go home, me,diana,maimon and carlisle had a mini picnic at a shelter near school because we brought too many stuffs the nite before. we were very excited went we went shopping the night before,thats why we brought so many unauthorised food. hahha. we decided to called for people like CY,benjie and joash to help us finish the food but they ended up sitting around.so much for helping.

i slept for 4 hours straight went i reached home. it was a very tiring day.looking forward for tomorrow's activity. will hope that it will go out as plan. wait, we have not even finish planning. omg.

Monday, October 13, 2008 / 11:31 PM



im feeling very very shitty right now. i've gotten back most of my results and hell, i failed bio and CS and maths. bio was expected but i failed really really badly.shit mann.i've gotten 29/120.good or what? CS was dissapointing. I failed by 2 marks. I sacrificed my time for Hari Raya to study for CS and i failed.wth.

i've told him about what i've been planning between us last night. It was terribly hard for me to tell him. Its gonna be hard for the both of us,i know. at times, i felt that it was a waste that things are going in this way. they dont deserve to be like this but i realised that i wont get the good things that i imagined all the time. i've got to move on.shitto.

yesterday was guess-what-i-did-in-school day. I learned sign language and photography. sign language was very very interesting and i've tried talking to my friends using sign language. it takes a very long time and i guess it will take ages for me to deliver what i wanted to say. thats not very effective.hahha.

i've got this habit of smiling to myself when i hear the jonas brothers sing because for one reason. i find their voices superr sexy,very sexy. HOHOS.(: omg, and im especially attracted to nick jonas because of his very cute voice. im attracted to joe jonas because of his cute face. yes,yes. they're all cute.im going craaaaaaaaaaaazy. (ohh; and their foto is up there.)

dad has been having moodswings lately because he always comes home with a bad mood and a sour face. and when he's bad mood-ing, everything will not go right. this is wrong. that is wrong. i thought girls only experience mood swings. oh well, i've learned something new. i think he is stressed-up with work or something. i just hope that things will go back to normal soon.please dad? and i've got no idea how am i suppose to tell him my results. im dead mann.

ohh; me and aruna are soo high during the CS extra class. we were online and we were exchanging superr funny msgs. i swear we were out of our minds and mr chia doesnt seem to mind anyway. HAHHA! omg.and aruna seems to act like a retard. a TOTAL retard with a capital R. she's trying to steal the jonas brothers from me. wth. stop it, aruna. it will not help,neither will your retarded-ness will. hahhas.

/ 3:35 AM

im think im gonna start anew.
i've spend alot of time making this decision.
i'll just wait for the right moment cause right now im
too busy with stuffs.
i think its best for me and maybe for you too.
im sorry.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008 / 1:24 AM

there was a downpour again today. i should have brought my umbrella today. i think the rainy season is coming. okie, so i went searching for someone to lend me his/her umbrella or someone who's walking in my direction. & yes, carlisle was being very very kind. (see,im saying good things about you lar.) we shared his umbrealla and i was laughing non-stop when we went out of school because he was saying stuffs about benjie. hahha. and he kept asking me asking questions which he had asked me like for dont-know-how-many-times. actually, he wanted to send me home but i told him that i'll be okie by myself as long as he lend me his umbrella.

i was feeling rather emo-shit when im walking back home alone with the earpiece stuck in my ear. When i look across the road, it reminds me of something. something that happen and the exact place. I could imagine myself with him there, sharing under the same umbrella with smiles on our face. I missed those hapy moments. haiz.

school now is getting boring. i've got nothing to look forward to and all we did in school was basically nothing. Im just waiting to get my results back and im crossing my fingers that i would at least pass all the subjects which i know is rather impossible. oh gosh.

Sunday, October 5, 2008 / 7:14 PM

tears are trickling down my cheek as those remembtrance replay back in my mind. I find it hard to accept the fact that our relationship has ended. You tore my world apart when I heard those words coming out from your mouth. I thought they were just my imagination but no, it was from you. I felt so remorseful. I felt like screaming my lungs out. I felt my smashing everything that goes in my way. I never expected this to happen neither would i expect that something i hated the most would come true on that very day. This relationship which meant so much to me, is gone just like that. Im not saying that it was entirely your fault neither am i blaming you for the pain that I felt. This hurt is too real. There's too much taht i cant erase them away. Im torn into pieces. I used to stand so tall and be so strong but now im shattered into a million pieces. Yes, things can be like how it used to be but it wont be the same. I've got regrets of letting you go that easily. There's no use in pretending to be alright when its obvious that im not. I'll try to make it through by myself. This will be my biggest sacrifice.It was a major heartbreak, a total heartache.