zana banana

2009-08-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

permanently moved ;

superdupermie.onsugar.com

find me there .
i hate blogger ahh .
bye .

to you ;

2009-08-10T04:17:00.001-07:00

I'm not a bitch, I just have a low tolerance for bullshit.

fantasy ;

2009-08-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

such beautiful fantasy that we've build .
to have my knight in black armour saving me
from an orange tower ,
and we'll be riding a white horse towards the airport .
a private jet , shall we ride to italy .
we'll live in a castle in italy by the coast .
and yes ,
the gondola is definitely on the list .
i want to ride the gondola ,
towards the sunset .

shit you ;

2009-08-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

for the record , i've never said anything bad about you .
i've never talked behind your back .
and i never did bitch around about you .
but you , acting like such immature and childish faggot ,
went ahead and talked so much things about me .
i knew we had an ugly history ,
but whats up with you doing all that ?
saying that im a bitch and etc .
what the fucking hell is wrong with you ?
but here's the pathetic part .
you seem afraid to tell me straight at my face ,
because you're writing it at somewhere which
you know i wont be able to read it .
dont think i dont know ,
i've got such reliable sources where i could depend on .

and heyy ,
i think you're just jealous that im close to him arent you ?
get over it girl .
seriously , stop acting like you've gotten over it
when you're doing and saying stuffs which obviously shows
the total opposite .
stop contradicting yourself , sucker .
thats the only think i could say to you .
seriously ,
you're just wasting your fucking time and i wonder what
else you have in mind .
perangai dog sial .

adrenaline ;

2009-08-07T03:50:00.000-07:00

today in study hall when you caught me
smiling and asked ,
" whats so funny ? "
i told you i was reading a funny book .

but actually , i was just ecstatic about how close
together we're sitting since im kinda in love
with you .

chapter 1 ;

2009-08-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

like a flame that burns during winter ,
you kept me warm and alive .
you protected me from the cold and saved me from
the freezing weather that could have just killed me .
chilly winds brushed against our face ,
and our lips began to turn dry .
hope to live was all we wished for .

and those chilly winds that you kept me away from ,
makes me earn every second to live with .
and with each second that i have ,
i hope to be able to spend those precious time im left
with you .
i wouldnt mind staying in this position with you hugging me
and protecting me from the storm ,
because i have you close to me .

but there is just one thing ,
i just couldnt bear to see you sacrificing yourself being
cold and shiver for the sake of keeping me alive .
its hurtful to see how much you're suffering while im here
trying to catch every breath that i can .
i know both of us a fighting for a chance of survival,
and i know that if this continues ,
you're gonna leave me soon .
and you'll be dead before i am .

but hear me out ,
i wouldnt mind dying together with you .
i couldnt care less if there is a tiny winy bit chance that we
could survive .
i just want you to be near me ,
to be by my side .
like how some said ,
they'd rather die in the arms of their love ones .
because there is this feeling that maybe you wouldnt understand ,
this feeling like how i feel so secure when i have you around .

so keep on burning like a flame dear .
but do know that ,
if you almost feel like giving up ,
its okay .
i dont mind laying there with you ,
having tragic ends to our lives .
i just want you .
just you by my side .

poetically pathetic ;

2009-08-05T02:13:00.000-07:00

mum had pizza delivered for lunch .
thank god there is something appetizing to eat ,
for i need to compensate for the lazy-ness and
lethargic mood that i had today .
i want to eat alot and alot & i dont really care
if i get fat . ( as for now )
hhhaah .

i lose to the person at the other side of the rainbow
for the 2nd time .
thats depressing .
i have 2 weeks to go .
poor zana .
.___.

national day is coming .
and so is prelims .
and the orals .
ohh great .
ohh wait !
class lunch is coming up too .
looking forward for that !
jyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah .

i did something during bio .
lets just say that i did some butt writing .
HAHHA .
wicked .
the whole class went hysterical .

im in serious need of a heart warming hug .
'_______'

And after all , You're my wonderwall .

2009-08-04T02:43:00.001-07:00

thanks a zillion to the person at the other side of
the world for buying me hershey cookies and creme .
they're hotstuff and uber delicious .
& you're great . [:

say you need me cause i need you ;

2009-08-03T02:31:00.000-07:00

So make me this promise, yeah?
Say it with an object tone .
Emotion feeling, can't stop spinning .
Just keep breathing, say you need me .

let me in ;

2009-08-02T03:42:00.000-07:00

boy ,
would you give me your heart ,
would you give me your soul ,
would you make me feel secure ,
i know you would no matter what .

em-brace-s ;

2009-08-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

i want to wear braces . :B
ohh wait ,
i am gonna wear braces .
its just that the stupid dentist took
so long to make an appointment with me .
wth .
make me wait for like 123456789 months .

braceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees .
^__^

un-see-nable ;

2009-07-31T22:53:00.001-07:00

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

humilate me ;

2009-07-31T03:37:00.000-07:00

i dislike SOCIAL STUDIES for now .

i think i've screw up for the SS FT .
I confuse myself with history and SS format .
and im sad ,
because i lose the bet to the person at the other
side of the rainbow ,
which is rather depressing .
i wonder what will he do .
and im banned from writing conclusions in my SEQ .
wth .

go get a life ;

2009-07-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

okay , i know im so great that you have to talk about me to others behind my back . especially those really bad stuffs that you said . i know those things that came right from your mouth are mean stuffs that could only come from someone as horrendous like you . hhhaah . but here's a token of appreciation for spending every breath of you bad-mouthing about me to others .
i know im just too irresistable , but not to the extent that you have to talk about me so much . whatever you said , they mean so much to me because it clearly shows how jealous and envious you are of me . like i have the things that you wanted . it seems that im just so famous around your circle of friends cause my name has been constantly spoken isnt it ?

okay , maybe you are just trying to pull a strong front in front of the others and say that you dont really give a shit . but wait , i know how you are feeling at that point of time . it wasnt on purpose , but things happen whenever you are around . blame it on yourself , who else .

i know you are giving me those cold stares . i can feel it lahh . and heyy , i know im preety and ke ai and whatever it is , just stop looking at me will you ? damn . they dont make me feel inferior and no , it wont make me stop doing whatever im doing . quit whatever you are doing . its pretty much childish for someone like you .

life has been so much better for me .
you made my day so much better every single
morning .
thank you .

stop this secrecy .

2009-07-29T02:11:00.000-07:00

im getting sick of it .
its hard on you , i know .
thats why im just keeping quiet .
i dont wish to put you in a spot .
but cant you tell ?

lets stop contemplating this fact ;

2009-07-28T01:34:00.000-07:00

im not blaming you for sticking with your own cliques neither am i angry because you left and never came back . its just that sometimes i get sad when things between us have been going this way , like you left us all of the sudden . i miss you , just that . in fact i think she misses you too . once in a while , would you come back ? would you come and tell me all your lame jokes ? i dont mind now . im just afraid that we might be fading apart more faster than how we thought it was . maybe both of us are just contemplating the fact that this friendship might soon break . that it would just snap . i wished we could still laugh our asses of over stupid stuffs . i just miss you and im hoping that one day , you would come by . maybe just drop by to say hello or anything , i dont mind . it seems that neither one of us are also making the effort to stop this thing from happening . and if you ever read this , im not blaming you for making it happen . im not saying that its your fault . i know it isnt and its really okay for me to be hanging out with them . i just think that sometimes you might have forgotten that we're here and always have been here . it's just you who has been going away . i miss you .
]: ]: ]: ]: ]: ]:

sometimes coincidences might be so beautiful and unexpected .
sometimes it might just make you think that it was fate .
and when i had that opportunity to talk to you ,
i kept my mouth shut .
dumb , i know .
but i cant help it ,
there were too many butterflies in my stomach .
heee. (:

ohh ,
and shannon sim wen jie says that im like speaking
broken english plus broken chinese .
yesyes ,
im trying to speak in chinese ,
but in broken chinese .
HAHHHA ,

i've wished for someone like you ;

2009-07-27T02:31:00.000-07:00

i wished i could take back my words when i told you that you you werent important . As much as i tried denying this fact , it keeps telling me its you . yes , you , whom i ' ve fallen for so deep for . i wanted to take it all back and tell you how much you mean to me in my life , and how close you are to my heart .

The only thing my eyes has been searching for is you . and the only one my heart has been beating for is you . It sounds insane , to be feeling this way when we are just friends . There are some things that i wanted to tell you . like how much i 've fallen for you , how often you ' ve been appearing in my dreams and how i ' ve wished that you were by my side .

When you asked me if i wanted anything , i shrugged and told you that i didnt need anything from you . but in my heart , i was wanting to tell you that the only thing that i needed right at that moment was you . i wanted to have you by my side when i was down at that point of time . all i wanted to see was your smile . all i needed was some assurance from you . i wished you knew . i wish you could hear what my heart was saying . i wish you knew the things that i hoped for , and that you have always been in my mind .

2009-07-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

give me a few more days for blogger to be done
acting like a bitch ,
and then i'll upload RHD photos .
its sickening .
dumbest of dumb .
gahhh .

next week is gonna be so pack for me .
there are so many upcoming tests .
and prelims is like less than a month ?
ahhhhhhhhhhh .
not ready , not ready .
ohh my .

there were some point of my life when i felt
like giving up everything ,
to just let go of everything that i have been
working hard for .
sometimes it gets too tough for me .
just too hard .
the road ahead seems so far ,
it makes me tremble and afraid that i might not
reach to that vey place .
what makes it harder when failure shot me .
its hurtful ,
makes my heart aches .
makes me breakdown ,
and feel like as if what i did wasnt worthwhile afterall .
setbacks can make me fall ,
tear me down .
but im gonna stay strong ,
well i hope so .
cause i dont want to shatter ,
and fall into pieces .
and even if i do ,
i 'll fix myself up .

listen to this ;

The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals ,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel .

2009-07-23T03:19:00.001-07:00

i hate blogger .
bye ahh .

2009-07-21T01:22:00.000-07:00

RHD today was super awesome because so it feels so lively .
so many niceeeee pictures were taken today .
snap , snap , snap .
shall upload photos of RHD soon .
there is something wrong with blogger .

ohh , and yes !
i ' ve won the bet , thank god .
i got myself a slave for a week .
cool or what !
[:
be prepared to you who is at the other side of the rainbow .
muahahahah .

stories to be told

2009-07-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

http://superdupermie.onsugar.com

where i publish stories that i had ,
or quote that i ' ve created .

i think i might become a writer one day .
^__^

and no one knows , why im into you .

2009-07-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

okaaaaaaaaaaay .
today is APM .
APM .
APM .
APM .
Taufik dearest is inside and is holding on to
5 nominations .
baeeeeeeeeeek uhh .
^__^
i bet he is gonna get hold 3 out of 5 nominations ,
or maybe all 5 .
[:
provided with his ohh so cute looking face and super
talent ,
i bet he ' ll make it that far .
heehee .

i ' ve gotten hold of my eng FT .
im praying very very hard that the person at the other
end does not get higher marks than me .
i ' ll just wait patiently for monday to come ,
for him to get his results .
i bet he is gonna lose to me .
and there is no way that im gonna lose to him ,
cause i dont want to be following whatever he says for
a week .
there is no way that its gonna happen .
fat hope .
i ' ll prove it to you that im better than you .
just wait and see .

but could you stay for a lil much longer ?
i wished you could stay ,
but you left and walked away .

2009-07-16T02:32:00.000-07:00

dont ask me how the launching of MOW was .
i dont feel like elaborating much on it .
and it only makes me hate doing business .
suckssssssssss .

thanks a zillion to emi ,
because i finally get a hold of not 1 but 3 ,
little black dress book .
im gonna spend all my time reading ' em up ,
thats for sure .

idk how to describe school .
its has been horrendously hectic but
amazingly wonderful at the same time .
i think i might start staying back till late hours
at school .
tiriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing ahh .
shitto .

i ' m indulging myself with aj rafael .
yes , again .
he ' s songs are preety much nice uhh .
[:
try listening ;
i just want you by aj rafael .
that one makes me feel so upbeat-y that kinda thing .
LOL .

i had so many things to tell you .
my heart has all the secrets i had about you .
my eyes has been constantly searching for you .
do you know that ?

2009-07-13T03:17:00.000-07:00

something awfully stupid and idiotic happened
while i was applying for DPA .
now i cant apply for DPA .
stupid faggot .
'_'

things would definitely change if the whole world wasnt looking
at what we were doing ;

2009-07-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

now , now.
focus to the left of this photo .
do you see a small photo of a kid ?
well , thats me !
ahahahh .
cuteeeeee right ?
i know , you dont have to tell me .
[:

i ' ve been forgetting homeworks .
damn !
i thought i have them all written down
in my diary .
turns out that i did write them down
but its just that i did not notice 'em .
gosh .
how ignorant can i get .
i have physics and eng to complete .
thanks a million healme for reminding me .
[:

ohh ;
i have the tendency to wake up early whenever
im slept late the night before .
irritating .
'_____'
like how it is happening now .
god knows why i woke up so early when i have
to sleep more to gain back my sleeping time
that i ' ve lost yesterday night .

life can be so unpredictable at times .
so out of control .
i wished i could tie myself to a kite and
fly away to somewhere far .
get on a hot air balloon so that it ' ll
bring me far .
i wished i could escape the misery .
i need some breathing space too .

i ' ve been watching alot and alot of taufik ' s
videos on fb and youtube .
ohh godd .
that guy is so goddamn cute .
i could practically melt my hearts out everytime
i watch his video .
* melts inside out *

watch this video .
look at the way how he dances while sings .
he looks so hot hot heat .
fu-yooooooooooo.
^____^

2009-07-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

unknown : Hye .. is tis Syazana ?

Zana : yeah . who is this ?

unknown : taufik batisah .. i noe ur my fan rite ?..

Zana : hhhaah . that is sure pathetic whoever you are trying
to impersonate as Taufik . But thanks for making that effort .

unknown : haha . tak larh . nie hambali larh .

-_______________-
some people tried so hard to be him ,
tapi tak menjadi .
tsk .

it doesnt end as a tradegy .

2009-07-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

i was practically cursing myself while i as walking
back home .
" wrong timing .
wrong move . "
that kept repeating in my mind .
maybe beacuse everything in school doesnt seem right .
or was it me that being to paranoid .
or that i got a feeling that things are going preety bad .

but thank you ,
you saved me from this mess .
you made things so clear to me ,
and yes ,
now i know everything .
and thank you again ,
for telling me .
[:

ohh , apparently .
kambeng made this phrase .
it sounds ultra niceeee .

i know you miss me more than you know you do .

2009-07-09T01:49:00.000-07:00

ohh , yes !
thank god a zillion and million times that blogger
has finally decided to be nice and let me upload my photos .
blogger shouldnt be such a pain in the ass .
its making me fed up at times .

ohh .
i ' ve got that feeling coming again .
yknow ,
i missed talking to you .
and it has been just recently that we talked .
you wont kow that feeling that i had inside .
jubilant .
euphoric .
[:
everthing niceeeeeeee .
heeheee .

sometimes ,
i wish you knew what im feeling right now .
no in fact .
i ' ve been wishing for it all the time .
wouldnt it make things so much more easier ?

tomorrow is friday !
a step closer to the weekends .
godd , you wouldnt know how i long for the weekends .
school has been so much more tiring .
'_'

i think im getting addicted to fb .
hahha !
fb is soooo addictive .
and talking to CY on fb was so much fun .

its lame .
say whatever you want because i wont even
bother to hear waht you ' ve got to say .
in fact i find it lame too .
HAHHA !
CY started the whole thing .
he has nothing else to do but to disturb me at fb .
yes , at fb .
gosh .
don ' t you have anything else to do CY ?
hohhohho .

ohh , thanks ruzaini .
i finally found a way to upload those photos .
ohh my ,
how bad can this be coming from a CS student ?
i dont even know how to save a screenshot as picture format .
baek peeeeeeee .
so much for taking comp. studies ehh .
-_________-

2009-07-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

no , its not the time for me to fall in love again
this time round .
its a total wrong timing .
i ' ve had a recent heartbreak and there ' s only
one thing to describe this .
im just not ready to fall in love again .

my mind is easily reminded of you .
which makes me really down .
):
i hate that feeling ,
of being reminded of you .
it ' s just not easy to get my mind away from you .
small lil things made me thing so easily about you .

the purpose of me saying this is not to make you thing
that i miss you ,
im just not over you .

and i ' ve got this crush on this guy .
* grins *
but im just afraid to let my feelings out .
well , i had plans of letting him know .
i even had dreams of us being so happy together .
but how can i even tell him when we seldom talk to each other
in reality ?
gosh .
we get along so much better on msn .
that ' s pure pathetic .

but lets see .
i think it would be so much better if the term
' crush ' doesnt exist .
it makes me think so much about it .
ohh wait ,
aren ' t i suppose to concentrate totally on the O's
since its like a month ' s time or so ?
gahhhh .
no , i cant make space for this kinda thing .
lets put it aside .
throw it somewhere far first .
i ' ll retrieve it back when im done with what i have to do .

there was a heavy downpour just now .
it makes me feel down .
))))))):
makes me think about you .
bullshit .

I aint gonna cry no .
And I won't beg you to stay .
If you're determined to leave boy .
I will not stand in your way .

2009-07-05T22:50:00.001-07:00

ehh .
i cant upload photos in blogger .
stupid faggot .
irritaing ahh .
-______-

2009-07-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

pursued ?
achieved ?

two different words , with different meanings seemed
to mean the same thing in a way .

achieve ;
to get or attain by effort .

pursue ;
to strive to gain .

so what about dreams ?
are they pursued or achieved ?

dreams .
they are wishes that we have , hoping that it would come true .
dreams are what people run after ,
well at least for me .

dreams makes you wanna do the better because every move
that you take forward is also a step forward towards my dreams .
but if you are someone who gives up too easily ,
you would already be throwing away that dream away .
because you THINK you couldnt make it through even when
you have not tried .
dreams can come true if we have that feeling of desperate .
desperate to make it come true .

im certain everyone has dreams .
not caring if it is realistic .
and im certain ,
everyone wants to have something or be somebody
in 10 years to come .
but they have to realise that ,
in order for 'em to come true ,
effort is needed .
yes , that big word .
effort .

so i believe that dreams are rather achieved ,
not pursued .
you could only strive a gain only after your
dreams are reached .

And I don't wanna fall to pieces ,
I just want to sit and stare at you .
I don't want to talk about it .
And I don't want a conversation ,
I just want to cry in front of you .
I don't want to talk about it ,
Cause I'm in Love With you .

2009-06-29T03:17:00.000-07:00

i went to the snow city last saturday and it was
superbly fun .
whooooooo ~
and guess waht .
hurry , guess .
the temperature there was -7.5 degrees .
yes yes ,
it was freaking cold !
gosh .
i feels like as if i could freeze to death the moment
i step into that place .
ohh ohh ,
hahha .
i felt like an eskimo .
with th gloves plus boots and not forgetting th jacket .
hohhohohho . [:

i went shopping at bugis last friday .
there were some commotion at the train station
when i was heading back home .
the whole system was down for a moment
because ,
some idiot tried to be funny and was walking at the
railway of th tracks .
gosh .
people nowadays .
sot sot in th head .

school has now reopened .
no , my brain is not working .
i feel so tired .
lethargic .
booooo yaa .
im need to get back to study mood uhh .
85 days to O's !
goshhhhhhh .
panic panic for a moment .
my heart beat a lil bit faster .
'___'
hardcore studying coming right up !
tsk tsk .
-____-

i want that boy to be mine ;

2009-06-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

cordianating the atc camp at ubin was awesome
plus great but tiring .
they owe me my sleeping time though . :X
i did so much admin work there that i think im
starting to like ' em .
hahha .
its amazing how im able to pull through with some of their
shitty attitude .
sanctuary [ is this how you spell it ? ] duty at night was pointless .
i have to stay up till 2 am in the morning .
goshhhhhhhh .

and gosh .
i look so dark .
very very very dark .
like fried nugget ?
[ as said by someone . ]
sobs .
] :
boohooooooo .

class bbq tomorrow is cancel .
such a waste .
aiyoooo .

school is reopening the monday .
i loikeeeeeeee .
hahahh .
no , i don ' t want to .
ahh , whatever lahh .

im used to saying ' whatever lahh ' because im
just used to giving up so easily .
damn .
what the hell is wrong with me ?

J texted me out of the blue a few days ago while i
was away for camp .
gosh .
that ' s weird .
so weird for him .
whatever ahh .

My pen could only write your name .
You were filling every page , so fast .
Then we fell and died away,
It's not supposed to be this way .
I'm so far from okay .
If it's all the same then ,
it's just you that's okay .

2009-06-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

boy ;
you 've walked out of my life .
so far away from me .
but it felt so hard to let you go .
it seems as if i was still holding on to you .
why was i so sad to see us apart ?
i hated you because you made me love you .
i ' ve regrets for loving you wholeheartedly in the past .
i regretted trying to save our relationship whenever it was on
its edge of falling apart .
i should have just let it fall apart and make you pick up the pieces
that were left .
you ;
you made me smile but you made me cry too .
you told me you loved me but you ,
you like her too .
im trying to find all those ugly things that you had .
because im trying my very best to really stop thinking of you .
i dreamt of you the previous night .
shit .

i want you to get away from me .
go somewhere far please .
somehow i wished i could dump you to the other side of the world .

i should have seen this coming .
in fact ,
there were times when i felt that it was time .
time for me to let you go because of the crucial mistakes
that you made .
however , i choose to forgive and act as if those mistakes you made
were nothing .
you might asked why was there a need to act like nothing happened .
why was i just letting it go .
its because of the fact that my heart is still beating for you .

there were times when i hated you ,
but no ,
i dont complain .
because i was afraid that you would walk away .

I should have started running a long time ago when i sense it
coming .
what you said at your last text ,
just left me cold and out of breathe .
those words you said were too harsh .
they were really outrageous .

but why ohh why ,
am i still holding on to you ?
why does my heart still beats for you ?
why do you appear in my dreams ?
why does my eyes search for you ?

im gonna stay away from you .
stay away from loving you .
im gonna take your words ,
turn my back towards you ,
stay strong ,
and walk away from you .

you ' ve betrayed me .
played with my heart .
your love was nothing but a game .
i've had enough .

i put you first and i thought you ' d stay .
but no ,
you walked out of me .
you walked away from me .
and you left me ,
just like that .

everything about you ,
seems to be a guiltless twisted lie .
it made me learn to hate you .
and hate myself for letting it pass by .

those words that you told me on th 27 th ,
where did they went to ?
they were empty words .
words with no meanings .
and words with no meanings are dumb .
you eyes made empty promises ,
though they were the loveliest thing .

your apology wasnt one bit sincere.
yeah ,
you could be saying to yourself that
i could think whatever i want .
but of course ,
i can and in fact will thing about whatever i wanted about
you .
it was a text .
and how heartless could you get ?

they say sorry seems to be the hardest thing to say .
but i think that it has become something so easy that could
be spoken from your lips ,
because you kept saying 'em frequently whenever you ' ve
done something wrong .
yes , true .
true fact that every mistake that was done has to be
forgiven with an apology .
but how many mistakes have you made ?
how many mistakes that you made have hurt me ?
they say people learn from their mistakes .
but how many mistakes will it takes then for you to learn from
your mistakes ?

i ' ll throw away those memories i had with you .
wait ,
i dont even think we had any memories together .
i ' ll forget you .
i ' ll tell myself not to hold on to you .
because it ' s pointless .
you won ' t even care .
ohh , no .
i dont even want you to care .
just go somewhere far from me .
i don ' t even want you to appear in front of me again in the
future when i've gotten over you .
i will get over you .

2009-06-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

i wont be back till weds .
don't miss me people .
sorry aruna ,
i wont be there for physics tuition .
sorry hairul ,
i wont be there to see your performance
today at the barrage .
sorry kambeng ,
i wont be there to support you .
laaaaaaaaaaaaaazy . :X
sorry to you ,
i think i wont be having anymore feelings for you .

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So dont promise me

2009-06-15T03:43:00.000-07:00

When im lying in my bed,
Play the motions through my head,
you know that im thinking,
And i have reasons to believe that,
im not the only one you spend this time with.

2009-06-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

10 June;

11 June;

2009-06-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

if your game was to play around with me and mess around with my heart, then i suggest you stop your idiotic doings because it made you look utterly foolish. But good job because you've finally succeded and you were that great that you even manage to make me put my trust in you when you told me you loved me. Ohh wait, you didnt even mean it when you said you loved me in the first place. Its amazing how you are able to lie to me till i thought it was really true. Thanks a zillion for making me realise how stupid i was in trusting you but also how dumb you were to be doing this.

For the record, you cant force yourself to love someone and while forcing yourself, you got into a relationship with that someone. It is atrociously heart breaking because you gave her hopes, made her think how lucky she was to have a great and awesome boyfriend when you were planning to crush her at the very end.

Quit acting like as if you are so great. And stop telling yourself that you are every girl's dream because im sure they wont want to get hurt in the end after believing your lies. And if you think saying sorry is as simple as it is, you've got it wrong. There is no point in saying sorry after waht has been done. Just be proud of yourself okay? And tell yourself that you've done sucha wonerful job in hurting me. applause.

2009-06-10T23:02:00.000-07:00

someone is not replying my msg.
what's up with him?
gahhh.
i cant be bothered anymore lahh.

things are fine between me and D.
its greaaaaaaaaaat.
i choose to forget about the history that
happened between us and also not to hold
grudges with him.
we're fine.

im going out with H tmorow.
awesome!
its been sucha long time since we met.
its great that i'll be able to catch up things
with him.

i went to SP yesterday.
the whole event was total madness.
its cooooool.
ohh.
there was this guy in green who likes snapping
photographs.
heeeeeeee. :D

i'll be going cycling on next weds at Pulau Ubin.
whooooooooooooo~
im excited! ^__^

today's lunch date with firhan is cancelled.
today's plan with J is cancelled.
but i'll be meeting bestie later on.
i miss her so so so muchhhhh. (:

i've figured out that my calender is getting more
pack with activities.
i really really need to spare some time for
my studies.
seriously.

boy ohh boy.
you didnt know how much i resisted
not telling you how much i like you.
you didnt know that this heart is secretly
calling out your name.
you didnt know how many times i've had
dreams of you.
and you didnt know the reason why i still
hold on to you.
.zana.

2009-06-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

okay adli.
this space of post is for you.
take it.
okay,done.
[:

2009-06-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

did i tell you how freaking nice my room is?
is orange everywhere.
orange curtains.
orange walls.
well, th walls are orange plus blue.
[it never fail to remind me of you.]
its orangeeeeeee madness.
be jealous.
okay,done.

2009-06-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

ahmad gave 12 of those cupcakes on th 5th to me.
whooooooooooo~
its ultra delicious plus yummy.
*thumbs up*
i ate them while doing th hols assignments.
niceeeeeeeeee.
and ohh,
thank you a zillion. :]

i feel so lethargic today.
so tired.
so restless.
i dont feel like studying today.
goshhhhh.
if this continues, i'll end up rotting at home.

and there is tuition today.
damn it!!
im lazyyyyyyyyyy.
aruna, want to skip tuition today?
hahaha.

its th GSS now.
but i've got no $ now.
ahhhhhhhhh, wtf mann.
so how th hell am i suppose to go shopping now?
'_' urgh.

So tell me when it's not alright,
when it's not ok.
Will you try to make me feel better?
Wll you say alright?
Will you say ok?
will you stick with me through whatever?
or run away.
.Say ok; Vanessa Hudgens.

2009-06-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

it was made easy for humans to fall in love with each other. but it takes years to understand what love is. don't tell me you've understood and knew what the meaning of love is when the number of serious relationships that you've been to could be counted with your bare fingers.

feelings. they dont fade easily. that feeling of love. it couldnt be erased in just like that. like *snap*. there it goes. no, it doesnt. i know how it'll feels like. to still love someone whom had left you and there you are trying hard to forget your loved one.

but to get into a relationship when you still have those mix feelings for your loved one, is just so contradicting. When you knew that the person that you thought is loving you wholeheartedly, is having a lil bit of feelings from the past. She was just a replacement for her. Just someone to get rid the past away from you.

Maybe you don't meant it this way. You would have said that you loved me more than you could. That i was a replacement because you wanted to forget her. That i am still the only one in your heart. Yeah, i could put my trust in you. To believe what you said when you told me you love me.

But try putting yourself in my shoes.

Sometimes, no most of the time. I wanted to really talk to you seriously about matters like this but you like to stop talking about it. I know it may be upsetting. But i dont like it when people talk about things halfway and then not bother explaining about it.

It's freaking irritating.

Pretending everything is right,
to make it better.
I'll hide my make up smeared eyes,
to show that I tried.
.make-up smeared eyes;automatic loveletter.

2009-06-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

im still happy.
whooooooo~
can you see my smile now?
can you?

i'll be heading to sakura buffet later.
double happieness.

happy 204th monthsary mum & dad.
in other words,
happy 17th anniversary.
^________^
i love you.

Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.
-come to me;jesse Mccartney-

2009-06-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

im happy, happy, happy.
can you see my smile?
heeeeheee.

im a scary monster.
RAWR~
'_'

When your lying in your bed,
Your eulogy's been read,
Your know that it's fitting,
'cause you lied.
-smile in your sleep; silverstein-

2009-05-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

thank you firhan for your concern.
well, i couldnt really remember what happened on
speech day the last time,
but yeah.
i'll call or text you whenever i need someone to talk to.
dont worry to much about me.
i'll be fine.
maybe i'll shout your name,
or drop at by your house.
hahha.
yeaaaaaaaa, right.

you, too, i've noticed have not been doing
that great either.
don't broad too much about whatever it is.
cheer up,
AND,
smile big-big! :D

talking to kambeng online is so much fun.
i cant believe he's a freaking smart-ass!
ohh, is he just faking it?
goshy gosh. [ YOUR word,kambeng. i know. ]
hahhha!
lets just put it this way.
talking to kambeng is great because he is
1] irritating
2] but funny
3] so he entertains me
4] which makes me happy.
^____^
and heyy,
kambeng owes me HERSHEY'S COOKIES AND CREME'.
*drooooooooooools*

MT O's is just like less than 24 hours away.
i dont know why i keep emphasizing on this.
gosh.
i was talking to iftikal yesterday about th paper.
he, who took it 2 years ago, failed the paper th first round.
now, now.
that makes me worried.
ohh mann.

speaking of that,
there was intensive MT lessons before recess for th
whole of this week.
which is like 3 hours?
it's suffocating during the first lesson,
because it's pure boredom.
but things get better as it goes.
intensive MT is more like intensive slacking.
hahha.
let the photos do the talking.

the holidays have already started.
but no,
im not going head over heels for it.
there is still school during the first week and i cant
really enjoy.
im gonna study during this period of holidays.
whoever out there,
please help to remind to study whenever you see me
online because i can get out of control at times.
my self-discipline is lacking.
._.

speaking of studying,
there was meet the parent session on friday.
my parents came down to take my report book.
and it upsets me because my mum is dissapointed
in my results.
hais. ]:
that is why im gonna work extra hard during the holidays.
im gonna be smarter than kambeng.
nyehehehe. (:
and im gonna make my parents pround.
especially mum.
futhermore, the prelims are like in 2 months time?
that is ultra fast.
gosh.

and look at this.

that is my superduper and ultra cool and
awesomeeeeeee and one in a million name tag.
i bet you dont have a name tag like mine.
it's a long story how it ended like taht.
hahhahahaha.
but what im thinking bout now is that im kinda
worried that i wont be accepted to take my MT papers
tomorrow due to my name tag?
like inappropiate dressing or what?
its pathetic that im worrying bout small things.
hahahha.

and i found aj rafael music very niceeeeeeeee.
*thumbs up*
he's music is seriously awesome.
and, and.
he looks like some malay?
idk. hahha.
listen to this.
one of my favourite.
enjoy.

My Soldier - AJ Rafael

2009-05-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

my mind has been weighing on alot of things.

too many things that were stuck here.

this small little space is being crammed with a thousand
things that were totally unnecessary.
its funny how im able to still be strong and face up with 'em.
these little things were not important but somehow im
paying more attention on them.
whats important now is th upcoming MT O's.
its making me crazy.

everytime i think about it, it makes me feel as if

my chest is getting tighter.
my breathing getting abnormal.
my heartbeat pounds harder at random times.
nausea.

i couldnt understand why things are being like this.

maybe i dont deserve to know why things are like this.
or maybe i should just dont bother.
you are contradicting.

everyone is contradicting.

everything feels so wrong.

damn.

i dont like it when you are in a foul mood.

i dont like it when you never text me.

i dont like it when i wait for your text the whole

night but it ended up as nothing.

i dont like it when you act as if you dont care.

i dont like it when you affect me when you are in a

bad mood.

im not accusing you for acting ignorant.

im not telling you off for not texting me.

im not gonna behave like a small kid and sulk.

im gonna go with the flow.

to you;

listen to why by avril lavigne.

it clearly speaks what im feeling.

okay,done.

goodbye.

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

2009-05-22T03:00:00.000-07:00

i've gotten back most of my results.
in fact, everything i must say.
im happy that i have a MAJOR improvement in combine humanities.
and im seriously upset with myself that i have a MAJOR deprovement
in my combine sciences.
uhh, drop rabak punye rabak ahh.
i couldnt believe it.
i think im being too complacent with myself.
gosh, i must work extra extra hard.
double and triple th effort!

MT O's for june paper is like 9 more days or so to go.
gosh! this is freaking fast and unbelievable.
im not really prepared to take another exam after th
mid years have ended.
what more, this is O's.
wahhhhhhhhhh.
i dont feel like taking O's MT paper.

my phone is haivng PMS, i swear!
it is going haywire.
switching on and off at random moments.
macam mintak kene sepak kat muke ahh tuu bende.
urgh.

i have this sudden desire to eat
HERSHEY'S COOKIES AND CREAM.
in fact, it is my all time favourite.
*drools*
ahhhhhhh, but im just to lazy to go to th shop
to buy one.
someone help me buy?

i want to go to downtown east to eat sushi.
whooooooo.
sushi.
sushi.
sushi.
damn it.
hahhha.

2009-05-20T06:18:00.001-07:00

i want to ride on firhan's bike sooooooooon.
CS coursework is ending soooooon.
results for exams are coming up soooooon.
okay,done.
bye ahh.

2009-05-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

( this last photo here is abit censored. hahha. )

Monday was a day out with besties.
it has been such a long time since i went out with them.
& they make my day!
^_____^
i saw this cute cute cute mat saleh.
*melts*

i shall help a group of hot hot heat guys to take
their group photo.
then maybe i'll exchange numbers with them.
i bet my heart is gonna melt inside out and my
hearbeat is gonna go ultra fast.
maybe i'll go crazy over one of them
and go on a date too?
wtf.
._______.
what would you do if you were in my shoes?
just sit there and watch your loved one
going crazy over another person.
damn you.

2009-05-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

You were running everywhere in my mind. even in my dreams. Yes, i aint no dreamer but it struck me that how funny it was that i am finally able to dream again. and it was about you. how great. Its a bliss to be able to talk to you on the phone the other night. But no, your voice isnt the only thing that I wanted. I want to hear you, feel your presence and laugh along with you. I want to be able to hug you again, to have that feeling of assurance. I miss how you use to make my heart did a somersault when you kissed my forehead. The only person that i want to see now is you. My hands felt empty and they yearn for your hands. My eyes have been wanting to see your smile, the cutest thing on earth. Im calling out your name, can you hear me? I need you near me now. I want you to make the swarm of butterflies in my stomach to take off aagin, flapping their wings and roaring around. All i want is you. No, in fact. All i need is you. I miss you ass.

I love you.
I need you.
I miss you.

2009-05-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

lets start proper here.
i've been indulging myself with korean dramas
that i've sort of neglected my studies.
then, i'll start over-dosing myself with red bull
which as said by someone, was unhealthy.
so now th exams are almost done.
im left with bio P1 tomorrow and its th end.

im having a movie date with you and you after
the exams.
i cant wait!

& LOOK.
my brother who is only 5 years old
is starting to wear spectacles.
gosh, i pity him.
wearing that at such a young age.
i wonder how high he's degrees would be
when he's a lil but older.

talking about that;
it reminds me of this convo that i had with my
lil brother.

me: nabil, asal nabil cute?
him: pasal kakak cute. ^____^
*grins*
okay, i forced him to say that.
hahhha!

mother's day was celebrated last saturday at
pasir ris park.
i had a whale of a time.
whoooooooooooooo~
i could have meet you,
but nevermind.

they say me and mum look totally alike.
esp in her fb where everyone is like talking about it.
gooodness.
and she's getting hyper because some of her friends
in fb said that she looked young.
hahha.
well,anything lahh ibu.
as long as you're happy.

and happy [late] mum's day.
me and 2nd sis gave her a bracelet and she went
head over heels.
i love you mum.
you're th greatest.
^____^

i'll keep it to myself. ._.

2009-05-10T04:21:00.000-07:00

let me tell you a story.
it is stupid to th max i tell you.

i planned to take a power nap th night
before my CS paper.
fyi, i have not rally studied for CS
and;
if CS is a deadly disease,
i could be th first one to die from it.
there is just sooooo much to memorise.

and so i wrote this at th whiteboard in my room :
"power nap : 7.45pm to 9.45pm"
i set 5 alarm clocks at my hp!
yes,5.
and i snoozed every single one of them.

and i ended up sleeping my way until th next morning.
wth.
that is th most stupidest thing i tell you.
& i realised i could never trust myself.
for my body doesnt work well with my brain.

but thank god;
i woke up at 5 am th next morning.
obviously, i was rushing to absorb as much
as i can on that morning.

so, lesson of th day is :
dont ever trust myself on taking power naps.
._.

2009-05-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

i think im suffering from emotion & mental disorder.
i've over-dosed myself with redbull.
im drained.
shagged.
but im happy.

chem paper earlier was a disaster.
damn.

2009-05-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

he's hot hot heat
plus
drop dead gorgeous.

be jealous.
[:

2009-05-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

i spend th labour day doing labour work.
=.=
it was sort of like 'flag day' but this time it
was island-wide.
aper lagi?
pegi jauh2 ahh.
hahha.
i guessed me and mimi were th only ones that
went further from th west.
and yes, we went somewhere near far east plaza.

th respond was great because there were mainly rich
people over at th district?
hahha.

& thr were 2 chinese whom was freakingly being biased.
macam nak kene tendang ahh.

zana: hi.would you like to donate? *puts a sincere smile*'

chinese 1: *takes out wallet*

chinese 2: *says to chinese 1* ehh,that one from muhammadiyah.
dont donate.

chinese 1: *puts back wallet inside bag*

zana: ahh.wtf.pffffffft. ._.

damn you,chinese who's biased towards malays.

& heyy,
to my chinese friends out thr.
dont get offended. [:
it was merely for those two freaking idiots.

and after sucha long time craving for sushi,
i finally brought them.
TY mimi for accompanying me.
^__^

2009-04-30T00:17:00.000-07:00

it was raining monkeys and elephants in th morning.
i couldnt concentrate doing my malay paper practically
because;

1. i was sitting right next to th door; meaning that i could see
th lightning and thunder very clearly with my own eyes.

2. i was looking out at th 'scenery' to search for some inspiration
to write on my compo when suddenly a lightning came striking in
front of my eyes.shocking!

3. th noise is distracting me.

4. im thinking of you.

im meeting baby tonight.
love,love,love.
^_____________^

2009-04-28T02:51:00.000-07:00

9.32pm.
i love you,baby.

2009-04-25T02:56:00.000-07:00

okay,kambeng.
how many times to you want me to blog about you?
i bet you are gonna ask me to blog about
you AGAIN th next time.

and so,
this kambeng here likes to use words that he doesnt
know th meaning too.
like;
"i'll be damn."
he said it is a form of expression.
like smth sarcastic?
but i cant trust him on this.
and this next word is preety funny.
'holy spaces'.
idk wth did he use this word when he does not even
know th meaning to it.
and when i asked him for th meaning,
he said:
'what's the meaning of holy?'
and i know th next thing he's gonna ask is th
meaning of space.
i guess some ppl are just trying to be smart but failed in th end.
right?
right?
right?
hahahhaha!

& i dont like it when this kambeng likes to put
history in action.
like there was this part when he said;
'whr's you oraltorical skills?'
and whatever shit it is.
he's weird,i tell you.

and heyy,i couldnt find a perfect photo of a kambeng
that suits you.
maybe th next time yaw.

and yes,im very happy happy happy
to th max today.
ahhh..
^__________________^
mimi was there when it happens.
huhhhu.
i was going head over heels.
damn it.
haahahaah.
woooo-huuu!
okay,stop it zana.
behave.
no,i cant.
haahha.
because th thing is that is that;
im in love again.
yes,all over again.
[:
& being in love makes me crazy.
okay,shhhh.

btw;
today is EX-BOYFRIEND DAY.
yes,for me.
i met both of them by coincidence.
almost at th same timing.
and it has been a long time since i saw them.
ohh,well.
i hope they are doing fine.

& idk if thr is anth wrong with blogspot or smth.
becos th photos seem to appear broken.
was it just my comp only?
wthhhhh.
._.

okay,im done.
love is a wonderful feeling.
^_____________________^

when im with you,
i'll make every second counts.
cause i miss you,
whenver you're not around.

2009-04-21T00:21:00.000-07:00

taufik dearest is going off to london this saturday.
im'a gonna miss him truckloads.
& he'll be away for 10 days straight.
& btw.
he's CUTE to th max.
ahhhhhhhhh.
*melts*
^_________^

this part of my post here is specially dedicated for
th kambeng who is at th other side of th world thr.
i guess you should know who you are,
& if you dont..
i suggest you hit your head at th wall for a hundred times.

since your bedae was like some days ago,
i shall be a good girl and not say bad things about
you here.

i loooooooooove saying next,next,next to you.
make you irritated and sing another song except for
bleeding love.
hahha.
we'll have a song marathon th next time okay?
so you better go get ready.

you told me to tell th whole world about how handsome
you are.
& no,
im not gonna talk about it.
this is what happens to those who's gotta thick skin.

instead;
(remember taht im gonna say smth nice bout you?)
im gonna say about how great your voice sounded
when you sing.
your voice is great but taufik sounds better.
nyehahahha.
and please,
jangan kembang okay?

and yes,
im done.

TY for talking bout me at your blog too.
you're irritating.
'_'

2009-04-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

DAMN YOU;

shouldnt have text you.

2009-04-11T18:39:00.000-07:00

it came to my consensus that it was time
i really learn to let you go.
It was over between us so i shouldnt moan over th
past that has happened..
yea,it might bit a lil hard to for you,
but as for now i shant get reminded of you.
At times, i sat on my bed.
thinking bout all those things that have happened between us.
I wanted it to end but it's still me that wanted you back.
its pure dumb,i know.
I used to miss you so much that all i ever wanted to do was to just
hug you for one last time.
i cant entertain those thoughts that were stuck in my mind.
I just needed some time to get over you.
But it makes me upset when you tried to say that i think that our
previous relationship was a piece of shit. maybe you didnt meant
to say that, but words came rushing through my mind.
Was i just trying to make things worst?
damn it.
And that promise that you made.
i told myself that forget about it.
What's th point of asking you to break that promise
when you never intended to?
ahh..damn. lets just forget about it.
I shant bother you with that promise too.
You made it,you decide.
you said you needed time,a looong time.
if that's what you wanted then im fine with it because
i need some space to breathe too.
i need some space to sort out my feelings.
to realise that th past, is in fact th past.
i gotta go and find myself now.
im feeling that im more of becoming someone else.
someone who looks back to th past.
a pessimistic.
i cant recognise that image that's staring back at
me in th mirror.
it used to be unconditional.
i cant think of anybody else now.
i hate myself for missing you.
i feel that i cant go on.
damn.

2009-04-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

change.
I was a very stubborn teenager.
I remember crying over someone who has hurt me.
I heard insults bout myself taht came from someone whom I thought was my friend.
I saw my parents quarelling over some things.
I worried that I wouldnt be able to make my parents or even myself proud.
I thought I couldnt make it through th hardships that i faced.
But i want to change.

I am a human being who desires to achieve something great.
I think th world is a mixture of love and hatred.
I need to pass my O's with super ultra flying colours.
I try to look at things on th positive side.
I feel hopeful.
I forgive everyone who has back-stab and insulted me.
Now i can change.

I will be a working adult who enjoys life.
I choose not to listen to others, and to think what's right for me.
I dream to change the world into a better place.
I hope to gain more knowledge in th time to come.
Ipredict that I am going to have a good career in th future.
I know i can be someone successful.
I will change.

i felt like a pathetic loser, at times.
when all i wanted to do when there were
hard times was to give up.
i let things go easily,
too easily taht i am always satisfied with what
i had.
no, i realised this isnt how i shoud be.
i can never be too complacent with myself again.
i'll go through those obstacles in life,
and i meant it.
i shall not give up halfway.
i will be an overcomer.
im gonna set high hopes on myself.
i dont care how high i've set them.
for, if im dissapointed with what i've never managed
to achieve,
i will console myself and tell myself that at
least i've done my best.
i shall do things seriously from this moment onwards.
no, this doesnt mean that i wouldn't have fun at let lose.
i will, dont worry.
but things like studies,
im gonna concentrate on them for now.

2009-03-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

last friday was th last parade for NP.
at that also, i was away for shooting competition
and i only manage to join in for dismissal parade.
i've got this sad feeling stuck inside me that im
soon gonna step down and that its time for me to
concentrate on my studies.
it has been 3 years ++ and it just seems as if it
was only like a year.
time was passing by ultra fast.
thats not fair.
well,nothing in life is fair.

i havent been going to parades this year.
much that i've been concentrating on th shooting
competition.
at first, i thought that it was a very good thing to th max
that i was excused from parades and taht all i have
to do was to practise on my shooting.
but no;
now i realised how wasted it was.
to let go those last moments of being in a squad.
it was something i have to cherish.

speaking of shooting competition;
i've gotten known of th results.
well,it was my personal best but i guess that it
wasnt that good either.
but no;
i dont really care bout winning this whole thing because
i believe taht what matters most was th effort that was
given in.
i did my best,so im happy with th results.
to all those who took part too,
don't be discouraged or demoralised.
we've tried our very very best so there's no need to
be sad about it.
you guys can always try again th next year.

and speaking of competitions,
i went to support th hockey guys for their finals.
it was an interesting experience because i could really
feel th school's spirit.
whoa..i didnt know th school is taht united.
hahha.
photos of last tuesday's match.

i dont think i could differentiate th meanings
of like?
crush?
and infatuation?
becos it seems that falling for th wrong guy.
he's a no-no.
ohh,gosh.
._.

2009-03-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

went to sungei buloh on monday for our bio field-trip.
th place there was nice.
but th sight of some plants or roots gave me goosebumps.
'_'
but,but,but..
th canopy is superr nice.
look at th foto up thr.
mother's nature nice.

i had a trip down to bukit chandu yesterday
for my NE learning journey.
th tour guides are kinda old.
i wasnt paying attention to them through out th trip.
i was busy laughing my ass off with those bunch
of funny people.

there was bio lesson after that.
and benjie has darker skin colour.
huahuahuahua.
he's voice changes too.
but he doesnt seem to grow any taller ehy.
LOL.

decided to make a trip down to th street soccer after bio.
& met up with my long-lost members.
and ohh,
i miss laughing to their craps and shits.
hahha.
its been so long since i met those bunch of people.
and it was firhan's birthday yesterday.
yesterday was very kecoh to th max.

2009-03-20T04:29:00.001-07:00

to you,firhan.

2009-03-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

that was a ship that i saw quite weeks ago
when i was on th way to singapore in a bumb boat
from pulau ubin.

my first time seeing a big ship upclose.
hahha.

i still have tons of hw to be done and im not in
th mood to do hw.
i've projects and projects to do and they're making
me annoyed because for one thing;
im lazy.

i want to eat sushi.
someone help me buy can?

2009-03-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

th
th hols wasnt one bit acting like holidays.
i still have to come to school one every day with
th fact that im sick.
'_'
it sucks big time to get sick during th holidays.
futhermore,with shooting trainings,
i cant even concentrate properly with my runny nose.

someone out there was acting so mereps.
compare to how you acted when i was with my ex back then,
and compare to how you act now when you have a girlfriend.
does it even make a difference?
im fine if you want things to be that way.
its just that i dont understand why some people are
contradicting.
all you want is to have things in your way.
you want that.
you want to do this.
you cant that.
but have you asked bout my point of view?
wtffff.

2009-03-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

thats eugene up there.
my cute cute physics tutor.
those photos were candid.
hahhhha.

& aruna;
i've already upload he's photo.
feel free to stare at th photo.
huhhhuhhu.
^_^

i've got a sore throat.
symptoms of getting sick?

shooting competition is in 2 weeks time.
ahhhhh.
omg.
im not prepared.
kelvin was being a serial killer cos he was shooting
how-many-shots for 35 mins!
hahhaaha.

& i think he passed that 'skill' of him to me becos
now im th one who seems to be shooting in a super
fast speed.
thanks ahh kelvin.

i have been laughing non-stop during MT lesson
all thanks to adli and kelvin.
they make me laugh soo loud that everyone started
looking at me.
it wasnt my fault that i laugh taht loud.
it's all their fault.
and to think that cikgu aishah always scold me..
not them.
wth???

i was talking to firwhyte a couple of days ago.
heard that he's been making his so-called
solo album.
ahh...that guy's talented.
not fair.
not fair.
go visit;
www.myspace.com/firdausw
listen to his song.
it's kinda nice though.

and firwhyte;
if you're reading this by any chance..
must thank me okay.
i help you publicize your song.

SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC-
hahhaha. :D

i am now talking to mards.
she said she's gonna buy me a toy gun to help
me practise on my shooting.
& she said that my neighbours could be my targets.
hahaha.
i think im gonna shoot them at midnight.
wake them up in th middle of th night.
hohhhohoo.

i've got kayaking this saturday.
cant wait!

2009-03-08T00:49:00.000-08:00

damn.
my muscles are aching due
to yesterday's HRC.

thr's a friendly shooting match at CDANS
today.
yes,get it right.
i still have to go on school activities
on sundays.

i think im busier than a working adult.
._.

Rome wasn't build in a day.
so was success.
-feedos

2009-02-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

so many truths were told,
reality were faced.

to dearest wei ting and rashidah and those
who were feeling down;

dont give up.
you guys still have another chance to prove
them wrong.
to prove yourself that you can make it through.
dont put a fullstop halfway when you know
you have th potential.
its not th end yet.
so keep on holding on and striving for th very best.
for you may not know, what god has in store for you.

and i've got this magiacal hug.
that if you hug me, everything will be alright.
everything will turn back to normal.
and you would never feel sad again.
because what make things better is th feeling
of comfort and assurance.

i told rashidah i've got this magical hug,
but she doesnt want to believe me. D:

so look forward to th future,
and dont stay at where you are now.
it wont make you go any further.

and most of all,
you guys should SMILE BIG-BIG.
:D

i had a chat with my former friend;
nurul lyana bte mustapha.
its been such freaking long since i manage
to talk to her.
th thing is,
we always see each other every sunday,
bt ironically;
it was hard to talk.

ohh and i also had a recent talk with my pri 4
form teacher.
hahha.
i was kinda shock when he still recognised me.
and i've got a job secured while waiting for th O's result.
hohhhohoho.
thanks to him.
:D
aint it cool or what?

Fb has been getting addictive.
maybe because i still new to it.
my mum and dad were th ones that ttold me to sign
up for Fb.
i think they're to modernise ahh.
._.

i had a very little chat with my cousin who
is now in MELBOURNE.
ahhhhh..i want to go there.
melbourne.
melbourne.
melbourne.
i die die must go thr when i've got th $$.
hohhohohoho.
see those kangaroos.
or..
th hot hunks thr?
LOL.

& i saw baihakki at pesta perdana.
damn.
he's soo hot hot heat ahh.
he looks like those white people.
grrrrr..
*melts inside out*

"th only thing constant is change."
-ms azeanni.

2009-02-22T03:03:00.000-08:00

look at th photo up thr.
th sky was so beautiful yesterday night.
th stars were visible too.
and th clouds looks so fluffy.
hahha.

benjie said smth bout th stars as th compass.
i didnt knw such things exist.
so i guess if i get lost smhow one day,
i'll look for th stars.

& i did wonder if i could see th polaris star.
or can you only see it at th other side of
th world?
idk.

i went to marina square yesterday for my class dinner
and to celebrate ms azieanni's bedae too.
it was plainly a coincidence.
th whole class was soo kecoh at seoul garden.
i think we were th only one's making too much noise
and i caught ppl staring at us.

we ate for like 2+ hrs.
and i wasnt still that bloated because i spend most
of my time chit chatting and taking photos and laughing
and disturbing people and walking around and making noise.

LOL.
._.

after which,we still took photos outside seoul garden.
i swear th class was superr hyper.
esp th guys..
they started loving taking photos,very funny photos.
hahha.
joaan and healme was extremely funny too.
they tried imitating th advertisement at a shop.
and their actions was damn hilarious.

we walked around trying to find a place to sit and to
take a class photo.
a funny incident happened between sharon and a stranger.
LOL.

we played charade and it was getting quite late.
th whole class was laughing their ass off.
and we were sitting on th staircase..
facing th esplanade.
hmm..
reminds me of him.
oh well..

i reached home at 11.30pm.
and aruna can reach home faster then me
when she left later than me.
wth?
hahha.

shall upload photos later.
waiting for mimi to send th photos.

2009-02-14T17:22:00.000-08:00

i was talking a couple of days ago with feedos
about th shitty maths results that i've gotten.
and here's what he told me;

"Thomas Edison once mentioned,it is not that
he did not figure out a way how to light up a
bulb.True fact is he found ways NOT to light a bulb.
U see, its how you perceive things.Try to see things
from a different things, and not about getting low
results for your maths test."

ohh my..feedos and his words of wisdom but that
was actually true.maybe i should try looking things
in a different angle.

2009-02-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

13th Feb;

it was th celebration for total defence day.
we had to video at skit and it was superrr
funny to th max ahh.
hairi and amirul with their silly actions..
they make th video so nice to watch.
i was laughing my ass off till thr were tears
when th video was showed to th school.
hahhhah.
i guessed you could imagine how funny it was.

to those wonderful people that gave me
gifts for valentine/friendship day,
thanks a million. :D

had maths focus test.
and i told farizah that for once,
i had th confidence that im gonna pass
this test.
*smiles while naek kening*
lets just cross our fingers and hope what i said
will come true.
yesyes,preety please.
i hope it'll come true.
i want to pass my maths FT badly.

today is 14th Febuary.
which is valentine/friendship day.
i aint celebrating it with anyone this year.
or maybe..
with taufik?
LOL.

i was reading through th poems that you
used to give me yesterday night and i cant
stop th tears that were flowing from my cheek.
somehow,it seems as if im missing you so much,
missing your presence.
those letters taht you gave me,
i read them again.
and i saw this part when you said,
"i wont leave you.i promise."
and what happened to that promise that you used
to make when you broke it months ago?
or did you just write it just to make me feel better?

2009-02-11T03:50:00.000-08:00

valentine/friendship day is coming
in 123456789 days..
dont make me think back about what
happened on 14 feb lst two years.
its totally embarassing.
i wish i could r e w i n d to th past,
because when i think back about it..
it made me realise how much i've made
a fool out of myself.

th school says they're having a photo-taking
session and it was suppose to start yesterday.
it was th very first time this school is having
BUT
nothing seems to be happening.
wth?
i think th school still havent hire a photographer
or smth?
i can be one!
hahha.

2009-02-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

i played hotel626 yesterday.
it was preety scary.
i think i might want to play th game again.
hahha.

i failed my maths test.
dammit.
its demoralising me.
im like th 2nd lowest?
wtfffffffff.
& i felt like crying when i saw my results.
i know its ONLY a math test.
but i guess it means alot to me?
like shannon sim said;
"at least you've tried your best."
yea,i did try my best.
i was studying like mad.
but i got this type of shitty reults.
so unfair.

stupid maths.
i hate you.
._.

2009-02-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

satuday afternoon was spend at th je library
with a couple of friends.
lets just let th photos speak for itself.

benjie doesnt want to take photo.
was TRYING to act shy.
hahha.

pointing to th webcam asking me
to stop taking photos.

getting in th mood to take picture.
BUT..
doesnt want to smile.
._.

benjie trying to show off he's
muscles.
look at those funny faces.
i was trying HARD enough not to
laugh hysterically..
and to smile.

Its like gasping for oxygen when i know i was gonna die any sooner.
its like depending on th light of a candle when its gonna fade.
its like trying to fly when i know im gonna fall.
its like having high hopes when i know they're empty.
its like falling in love when i know its gonna hurt.

2009-02-05T02:11:00.000-08:00

look,look.
look at th photo up there!
my dearest fiance.
ohh my..im sooo in love.
huhhuhhhuhu. ^_^

math test just now was totally a failure.
idk why but i had this theory about me.
that every time i sit for a test or an exam,
i will DEFINITELY be on th edge of falling asleep
except for th very,very last minute.
wtfffff?
this thing is bugging me.
i tried my best to stay awake.
i tried my best to stay focus on th test papers.
and yet,
my eyelids were still very heavy.

aruna told me to drink chinese essence?
hahha.
like no way am i gonna drink that thing.
i dont think it taste nice.

maybe i should have this automatic hand
that will slap my face hard whem i feel
like falling asleep.
i dont mind getting slapped.
i just want to stay awake during this critical parts.

save me.

2009-02-03T02:03:00.000-08:00

an ending isnt always that bad,
is it?

2009-02-02T01:28:00.000-08:00

today was th official start of O's coursework
for CS.
it was preety okie i guess.
lets just cross my fingers and hope
that everything goes on well.

tuition today was cancelled.
& aruna was happy about it?
LOL.
i just wanted to see those mates that i've
never seen for sucha long time.
hahha.
i miss their craps.

oh yes;
aruna's going th same tuition with me.
plus;
she's taking th same subject as me.
COPY-CAT!
[:
hahha.
hope she doesnt make a nuisance thr.
lol.

th song i miss you by miley cyrus kept
playing in my mind.
even when i was doing my CS coursework.
i was like wth?
its sooooo hard to get my mind to think straight.
._.

i miss you..
i miss your smile..

2009-01-31T02:29:00.000-08:00

lunch at sakura buffet with jun kiat,kelvin,kian wee and
diana was superbly amazing.
th food there are v. v. v. nice.
totally niiiiiiiice. :D
& i love th oreo cheese cake especially.
thanks a million to junkiat and kian wee for treating us.
whooooooooo~
and we ate for 2 hours straight.
hahha.
i think im gonna get fat.
._.

went to mrs tan's house after that.
to celebrate CNY?
hahha.
more of a gathering..
cabb-ed thr because we were alr late.
was suppose to reach her hse at 2pm but we left
sakura at 2 pm.
LOL.
i got ang bao[pardon me for th wrong spelling] too!
yesyes..$$ ehy.
hahha.

went back hm at 5pm.
was suppose to go play bowling with them..
nevermind;
i'll play bowling with you people next time okie?

i've got a hell of a time today.
ah...greaaaaaaaaat.
^_^

2009-01-29T02:10:00.000-08:00

i broke a measuring cyclinder during chem prac just now.
& i have to pay $3.50.
wth?
and another 2 or 3 people broke some other apparatus
after i broke mine.
cool or what?
LOL.

& thank goddddddddddd.
O's for CS coursework today was postponed.
thank god a million times for i wasnt fully
prepared for it.
not mentally.
wish me luck people.

2009-01-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

i'll have a fake smile plastered on my face.

so long faggots.

2009-01-24T17:28:00.000-08:00

im sorry.
sorry.
those words are th only ones that i can afford to
say right now.
the way that i act towards things and make are
decision..i know they're kinda harsh.
and i've realised that i have made that decision
in a hurry.
its hard for me to tell you them.
what's more..yesterday was suppose to be a happy
day.

a day where we should have celebrated our
365 days of being together.

its sad.
it hurts.
its remorseful.
its heartbreaking.
those words are spoken in your heart..
i know that.
im really sorie.
yesterday was exactly a month ago.

but as much as i wanted you by my side,
as much as i needed you,
because you were th oxygen that kept me alive..

i have to let you go.

i dont want things to change..
not even you.

i told you that you were my whole life.
and i told you that if you ever let me,
i will die.
now,it wasnt you letting me go.
but i was.
in fact,im dying slowly.
all i could ever afford to do was to cry.

i don't why was there a need for a break-up when
both me and you are sad about it.
but i guess,what im doing this will be the very best
for both me and you.

this would be th very last sacrifice for our relationship.
i gave away my happiness.
i gave away th love that i had awaited for.
i gave away you..
th love of my life.

i couldnt sleep well yesterday night.
i kept waking up from bad dreams.
and i felt wet patches on my cheeks.
was what i did th most horrible thing on earth?

and thank you.
thanks a million for th times you took my hand
whenever i feel alone.
thanks a million for th moments you were with me.
thanks a million for those hugs that made me feel
secure.
thanks a million for giving me a second chance to be
in love with you again.
thanks for everything..

even though its not th end of everything..
its not th end between us..
we'll still be friends.
at least i hope so.
its not goodbye yet..
but im feeling as it is.

i couldnt have th strength to let you go.
i couldnt have the strength to hurt you.
i couldnt have th strength to make you cry over
me again.
i couldnt even have th strength to walk away from you.

and yet,
i did it.

maybe it was just me.
just me.

i'll try putting up a strong front.
i'll try turning my back against you.
i'll TRY letting you go.

love is dumb,
stupid,
atrocious,
and everything bad.

2009-01-16T20:16:00.000-08:00

im doing my CS coursework right now.
this thing is killing me.
there's so much thinking to do.
well,i hope my brain cells doesnt die at least.
th dateline's today.
and i've got lots more to do.
wth?

i keep falling asleep when im texting boyfie.
thats freaking irritating.

th song human by th killers kept playing in mind.

schhol work is pilling up.
i can go bonkers if this continues.

ah,greaaaaaaaaaat.

2009-01-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

its been a very looooooooooooong time
since i've posted here.
i've been very,very busy with cca open house
preparation.
th open hse yesterday was quite okie.
but to a certain extent,
it was very dissapointing and heartbreaking.
we planned so much for it and in th end it didnt
worked out.
i was like wtf?
i guess our plan failed.
we were back to square 1.
its just so plain.
not to waht we had planned.
i guess we could improve and try it again th next time?
i hope so.
other than that,
everything was going on well.
except for those photo boards taht kept falling.
that this was very irritating.
it was tiring ystrday.
my legs were kinda aching.

but i had fun using and playing with th walkie-talkie
on friday.
okie,it was my first time using it.
hahha.
i looove th walkie-talkie.

went out with boyfie after cca open house.
honestly,i was already feeling very tired and all
that i feel like doing was to go to bed.
but i wanted soo much to go out with boyfie.
so i brought along my tiredness and went out
with him.
boyfie was practically laughing and smiling all
day long until he told me that his cheek muscles
were aching.
hahhha.
that made boyfie sounded cute.
^_^

we went to SP's open house.
i just wanted to look around at boyfie's schl.
see how th place looks like.
and th place was kinda cool.
really cool.
they hv this place where concerts cud be held.
i forget what's th place called.
lol.
afterwards,we went to th esplanade for a short while
just to kinda look around and kill time.
we talked.
we laughed.
we smiled.
i love boyfie.
[:

went home because i was already feeling very,very tired.
th first thing i had on mind when i came home is to..
SLEEP.
yes,i needed some rest.
its 10am in th morning now.
and im still feeling very tired.
i wanna sleep sm more but guess i cant.
i've got loads of hmwork to do.

talking bout hmworks..
my O's CS coursework is coming soon.
omgomg.
its like superrr fast mann.
we're starting right after chinses new year.
its all too fast for me.
like a speed of light,i suppose.
i dont even think i could do well in that coursework
because:
1) im not EVEN prepared for it.
2) i hate courseworks,they bore me.

at times,i felt like running away from it?
like dnt cm to school for th days i hv coursework
so that i dnt have to do it?
i just dont wanna do it now.
it's still th first mth of th year.
they shud chill mann.

its only th starting of th year,and th
teachers are alr talking bout O levels.
which is like wth?

i cud see myself giving up and breaking down becos
of this O level thing in th months to come.
its gonna pressurize me more and more.
so please people around me,
do feel free to make me smile and laugh.
i'll appreciate it alot.

2009-01-02T04:13:00.000-08:00

today was th first day of school.
i never was excited for school and it just seems
that im draggin myself to get ready..
forcing myself to sit at class and pay attention.
school today was nth much.
more to self introductory that kinda stuff.
i'll just hope that i'll be more prepared in a sense
for school maybe?
everything starts officially next week.

boyfie said that he had a dream of us dancing.
and then smth crossed my mind when i think
bout it again.
hmm..
smday,i wanna learn how to ballroom dance.
and i wish to go ballroom dancing with smone.
aint it wonderful?
yesyesyesyes.
TOTALLY WONDERFUL.
for this moment of time,
i think i could only afford to imagine myself
ballroom dancing with boyfie.
gahhh...
[:

i've got my schedule for shooting.
i wonder how im gonna manage th time to
meet up and spend time with boyfie.

& im missing like a zillion times right now!

2008-12-29T05:30:00.000-08:00

school is not even open and yet,im stressing bout
some other things.
ah greaat.

last sunday was a mthly shoot at safra.
it was my first time going there.
th place there is super nice.
esp th swimming pool.
hahha.
mr yeo and coach was debriefing us and it was
directly behind th swimming pool.
most of th girls were looking at th swimming pool
and not paying attention to mr yeo.
how funny.
hahha.
and i was one of them.
LOL.

my shooting was okie,i can say.
but not what i've aimed for.
nvrmind..there's still other chances.
and i need to buck up in shooting.

had meeting with th cca open hse committee today.
everything is going on well so far.
except for a few things that we've gt to figure out.
im dead lar becos of sm reasons.
._.
and for sm reasons,
bck alive!
hahha.
half-alive though.

i've worked things out between me and him.
and yes;
things are gg very very fine indeed.
im in love again!
hahs.
things seems to be falling in place nicely.
how wonderful.
[:

school is reopening this week.
like yay?
im not that excited animore though.
-.-

2008-12-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

im think im falling in love again.
ah greaaaaaaaaaat.

he's coming bck to spore today.
ah greaaaaaaaaaaaaat. [:

2009 is coming.
i still need $$.
ah greaaaaaaaaaat.

ohh and my pp8's low.
anyone pls top-up for me?
TYSM.

2008-12-19T00:58:00.000-08:00

boy;

hearing your voice on th fone yesterday nite made
me realise how much i yearn to hear it and
how badly i wanted to hear them again.

Sometimes i felt that you're like a sweet dream that
appears again after i was being overcast by th darkest
nightmare.you made me want to have the reason to
sleep cos i knew you would be there.

i saw your smile in my sleep and i knew that smile was
for me,only me.no one else.

u came by,wanting to bring us back like how we were
before.but th hurtful fact is that i've stop believeing
in love. i've gave up hope in th love that used to be in
my heart.it's very hurtful cos i thought that i could finally
face reality..believe that you're no longer there.

& you suddenly came,wanting to get back the pieces
that you've lost.its a lil bit too late,i guess.afterall,
this was what i had wished would happen.th moment
to have you again was alr in my vision.but when i've
lose hope and stop wishing that it would happen,
it happens.its th total opposite way.Th way that i've
least expected.

Th way you sound on th phone made me think back
bout th times when i went hysterical and all excited
when i hear your voice.i used to feel that way,bt its
not like that now.

it was amazing to know that neither of us felt
akward talking to each other.in fact,its great to talk
to you again after a long time.

its as if you've filled up th emptiness in my heart.
like you've picked up th broken pieces of my heart
and taped it all together.

it's all clearly stated but i just cant seem to find th ans.
my heart wants us to be like how we are right now.
hold on,because i still need time to think.im confuse
with my own feelings.It feels as if im stuck between
th two.I hope you'll understand and give me some time.

My heart's telling me to let you go.

but its not what i desired,what i wanted.

as much as i love you, (yes,i still have some feelings
towards you but it isnt like how it used to be)
is this th very best for me?

to let you go?

lose that chance of getting you back?

& runaway?

is it worth it to lose that chance and let it go away?

is it worthwhile to let you back in my life after what's
done?

im just afraid to face another separation if we were to
get back together.

im terrified to get my heart broken again.

i dont want to feel those remorseful feelings anymore.

should i follow my heart?

or should i follow what i wanted?

2008-12-16T00:20:00.001-08:00

went cycling at pasir ris park.
photos are above.
im lazy to talk about it.
basically;
me and 2nd sis were being crazy.
we cycled.
stopped.
took photos.
and cycled again.
nth much.
but i saw this super cute skater.
he caught my attention for a moment.
[:
& i love his hair..
that kinda swishing-wooshing hair,
if you knw what i meant.
hahhaha.

last sunday was 2nd sis's berfday.
mum and dad gave her a nice present.
and im jealous.
Lol. -.-

last monday was mimi's berfday.
she's finally 15 mann.
haha.
but she still look like a very cute small kid.
fit to be my sister lar.
thats a compliment,mimi.
(:

& she was th one who introduced me to
th twilight book.
because of her,
i became interested in those books.
i've spend my $$ on buying twilight and new moon.
and thanks to her,
im broke.
so its your fault mimi.

speaking of $$,
im in desperate need of them.
yesyesyes.
i need money mann!!
so mum and dad gave me a job at hm.
they told me to clean th windows and they're
giving me 10 bucks.
that easy!
hahha.

shooting training has resume.
coach wong is better than coach lee though.
he talks more,socialises with us more.
in fact,he talks crap and entertain alan with
his stupid things.
Lol.

i saw that guy whom i've been dreaming of lately.
gosh..he does look cute with his hair.
grr..
and i feel like pinching him.
hahhas.
th dream i had bout him was kinda weird though.
smth i never expected.
but it's a very nice dream.

lets just stop pretending,shall we?
it seems that both me and you are trying
to hard to let it go away.
or is it just me?

2008-12-11T19:45:00.000-08:00

i was watching coffee prince online and i
came across this scene.
damn..its soo sweet.
imagine having that kinda wake up call.
omg.that will be fantabulous.

im starting to like korean dramas.
[:

2008-12-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

monday was hari raya haji.
i watched dad slaughter th kambeng live for th very
first time in my life.
omg..it was freaking disgusting.
th thick blood oozing out and all that.
th kambeng can still move even after its slaughtered.
ohh my.
& i saw th stomach and intestine and watever things
inside th body.
definitely outrageous.
i took some photos but i shall not put them up here.
i dont wana scare some people out there.
(:

tuesday was a trip down to wild wild wet
with my family.
damn..it was soo much fun even though i've been
there before.
my skin colour doesnt seem to get darker though.
hahhas.
thats great!
we ate poppeye's at T3 for lunch before heading there.
it was my first time eating there and th food
is of very low standard.
i think kfc is much,much,much better mann.
had dinner at jalan kayu.
th food there taste great!
its been a long time since i ate there.
everyone was dead beat after dinner.
we slept otw home.
but too bad,
dad has to drive.

wednesday is he's berfdae.
yesyes.
he's berfdae.
are you thinking what im thinking?
hahhhahahs.
its..
taufik's berfday!
((:

HAPPY BERFDAY DEAREST TAUFIK!
another year older,
another year wiser.
:D
i still love you.
& you still look super hot hot heat.
he's breathtaking mann.
<3

a few more days of rest and i have to get back to school.
ohh dang..
school's reopening in 2 weeks time i cant wait!
idk why im soo excited but going to school is
much better than staying at home.

today is maimon's berfday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARFIELD.
th way she acts blur makes her cute.
hahha.
im sorry that ur berfday outing was cancelled.
last min somemore.
aiyo.
if not i could have tagged along and celebrate
her birthday.
poor thing.

3 more days to 2nd sister's berfday.
4 more days to inamorata's berfday.
11 more days to feedos berfday.

2008-12-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

i had a very terrible nightmare th two nights
before.
and contradictingly,i wanted to have that
nightmare again.
guess what i dreamt of?
VAMPIRES!
hahhhhha.
& sis says it was as if i was possessed becos
my eyes kept rooling and squinting.
thanks to her my nightmare is incomplete.
oh goshhhhh....
i want that nightmare to come back.

but i wonder why of all th things must it
be about vampires?
or is it becos i've been thinking too
much about twilight?
hhhhhaaaaaaaahhhaha.
thats insane mann.
& edward cullen wasnt in my dream.
):

if you could live forever,what would you live for?

went to umairah's bedae party yesterday.
it was soo much of fun.
& like finally,
i saw mardiana.
whooooooooo-
i miss that girl mann.
:D
her voice is like soo hard core.
that type of thing when you sing so much
of screamo.
hahhaa.

tears run down like razorblades.

2008-12-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

grrrr...
nadt is making me superduper jealous.
taufik went to her workplace.
he got her no..
blablabla.
and she showed me her foto with her
which makes me freaking envious.
this isnt fair nadt.
i'll get him one day.
i shall not let him slip in your hands.
muahahaha.
:D

there were alot of stars yesterday night.
idk why but they were shining brightly.
very brightly.
same goes to th cresent moon.
why is it shining so brightly yesterday night?
th stars and moon reminds me of someone
though.

happy birthday.

2008-12-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

i wanna watch TWILIGHT!
but then i've got a hole in my pocket.
shitto mann.
i've got no $$.
smone donate some $$ to me please?
i'll will grately appreciate your kindness.
or maybe;
just treat me to see th movie will do.
hahhhaaa.
:D

i've finish watching th corner with love drama online.
whoooo-hu!
the drama was super super super
niiiiiiccccee.
(:
you guys should watch it mann.
and now;
im shifting my focus to...
th coffee prince.
its 6pm-7pm on channel u.

i've cut my hair.
*snapsnap*
its shorter..duh.
idk if its nice.
im just too lazy to care bout all this lar.
all long as look nice can alr.

today's date made me thought of smth..
horrible.
._.
wtffff..
im dreading for this date to come.
i hate it.

i've made a new friend..
thanks to healme.
(in a sarcastic way)
-.-

2008-12-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

went to th marina barrage yesterday night.

fotos of th recent trip to terminal 3
during th last 2 weeks.

2008-11-29T16:54:00.000-08:00

girl cried.
boy wiped tears.
boy said, "every tear you shed is like a
bullet shot to my heart."
girl smiled and stop crying.

2008-11-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

im staying at home today.
i'll just rest for today.
mum signed me and my 2nd sis for a workshop.
i was like wth?
she signed us up without telling me know.
urgh.
and its tomoro.
is this suppose to be great or wht?

taufik was soooooooooo CUTE yesterday when
he was on tv.
[:
i was melting inside out mann.
huhhu.
th way he sings and th way he tries to make
things funny..
oh gosh.

im getting addicted to this drama: corner with love.
yes,that drama is super nice to watch.
th actors are quite hot hot heat.
whooooooo~
yesterday's episode was kinda sad.
i almost cried mann.
almost.

that's what you get when you see your life
through someone else's eyes;

2008-11-26T22:14:00.000-08:00

im selected into th school shooting team.
:D
this means that i wont be involved in the speech day and other
parades that kinda thing.
thats great!!
& im also gonna get free personal tuition..
if want to.
im killing two birds with one stone.
this is gona be superr greaaat. (:

im very busy this week with th trainings and stuff.
i was a trainee.
haha!
i taught th participants of th air pistol workshop.
i can teach people lar.
cool!
one of th participants was labelled as 'terrorist' by kelvin.
i cant help but to laugh because th way he said
it is amusing uh.
sorry to whoever he insulted and i laughed at.
no offence uh.
she's diana new bestfriend,i suppose?
hahhaah.

went bowling with my family yesterday.
th first plan was to head to CDANS but we realised that there
was a comp going on.
so we went to taman jurong.
i saw 2 or 3 familiar faces there.
i had sooo much fun there.
its been a long time since i went bowling.
then had late dinner at Mac.
that is gonna make me fat.
._.

i saw your tag and it made me feel _________.
now its making me harder to forget you.
i cant forget your words.
shitto.

im having a long break of 2 weeks before shooting
training resumes.
gotta go and enjoy within this 2 weeks before training
starts again.
training = wake up super early in th morning = long talks
by coach = makes me sleepy.

mimi told me a very amazing secret which is amazingly
hard for me to believe.
oh my gosh..
thanks a gazillion for telling me,inamorata.
(:

i cant go on this way.i've got to stop it but it seems that
im too weak to save myself.